“Join an org and I promise you’ll find your best friends!” Attend freshman orientation and you’ll hear that on repeat. I was skeptical. Sure, joining an organization or two sounds great but the promise of finding “best friends” seemed unrealistic to me.

Nevertheless, I bought into it. During freshman orientation and the first few weeks of school, tabling happens. It’s a bidding war — and you’re the item for sale. Every table left and right is begging for you to go over and talk to them. They want YOU!

It was exciting! There were so many options, almost too many. I strolled up and down trying to figure out what I was interested in. Then, I noticed a table of girls smiling and waving me down their direction. It was a spirit group. I get to talking with them and I’m immediately interested. I had never heard of a spirit group before, but they seemed to be exactly what I was looking for without knowing that was what I was looking for!

The Beginning of A New (And Very Long) Journey

I found something I really wanted to be a part of. I just had not figured out which one I wanted to be a part of yet. Googling “UT Spirit Groups” led to the discovery of what seemed like hundreds of organizations. I never even knew these existed!

Eager to get involved, I attended countless info sessions and meet & greet events. It was great! I met so many amazing girls. I felt like I had found my home in each and every spirit group I recruited for. Freshman year is definitely better than what everyone described. Clearly, if you just put in a little effort, friends come by the dozen.

Two weeks into the semester, it was time to apply. I was confident. I worked tirelessly on my applications, slaving away on 3 different sets of short answer questions and creative projects. After attending every single event for every spirit group I planned on applying for, there was no way I wouldn’t get into at least one of them.

Reality Check.

After two flat out rejections and one failed interview offer, I was left with nothing to show for all of the time and effort I had put into the last 3 weeks — almost the entire first month of my freshman year. And it sucked. I’ll be honest, there were tears. I felt unwanted. As a newbie in the college scene, it was a tough pill to swallow. Friends were already scarce to begin with. Each rejection felt like “You’re not good enough to be ours”.

I collected myself, brushed off the defeat and decided that it was only a minor setback preparing me for a major comeback. Second semester of freshman year I tried again. This time, I focused all of my energy on just two spirit groups. The actives in the groups assured me that girls who try a second time are almost guaranteed to get in. I’m golden.

Not quite. I received two rejection emails without even an interview offer. I’m defeated, again. My chances at joining an organization freshman year have been squashed. But as the stubborn, strong-willed girl that I am, I did not accept the defeat as the end of my story.

Sophomore year rolls around. This time, I WILL get into a spirit group. I had the summer to build my confidence back up. I’ve got this. Nothing can stop me. I’m going to be dedicated to just one spirit group this semester. I will show them just how much I deserve to be a part of their organization!

I’m sure you can guess what I’m about to say next. Indeed, I received another rejection. However, this time I made it through not only the first, but also the second interview. I got cut right before they released the names of the new class. This one hurt the worst. I was good, but, just not good enough.

The End. Maybe?

I was done. That’s it. No more trying out for spirit groups! It has ended in heartbreak not one, not two, but three times over. I swore to myself that I would never do it again.

Now it’s the second semester of my sophomore year. My spirit group wound has finally started to close up, and it’s probably going to scar. By now, I’ve made some friends. College life seems to be going fairly well. I no longer feel the need to be a part of an organization.

But then, I have coffee with a new friend. And she tells me about her spirit group, Texas Diamonds. Am I really getting dragged back into this again? Am I going to let myself endure another two weeks of recruitment, for it to possibly end in my fourth semester of rejection? The short answer is yes, I am.

I did it again. But at this point, I had much more confidence in myself that could withstand a fourth rejection. So I went for it. If it all ends the same, at least I would be able to say that I didn’t walk away from the challenge.

But it didn’t end the same. I got in, on my first try I might add! Then I realized — I truly, actually, really found my home. I didn’t belong anywhere else. Diamonds was what I was looking, hoping and praying for while searching in all of the wrong places.

Try, Try Again

I received 6 different rejection emails, in 3 consecutive semesters, over the first year and a half of my college career. Each received after numerous recruitment events, applications and interviews. I say this not to scare you away from ever attempting to join a spirit group, but to explain what I learned through the process.

First, I learned that you should never let your personality or self-worth be defined by something you put on your resume. Being a part of an organization, or not, does not determine if you are good enough. You already are. You always will be.

Second, I discovered a newfound strength and resilience within me that can only be gained in times of adversity. I am grateful for every single one of those rejection emails. They not only brought me one step closer to finding where I belonged, but also functioned as obstacles in which the only way past was through. Enduring the defeat and heartbreak has helped me develop arguably the most important characteristic one can have in life — grit.

Lastly, it has taught me to let go. Holding on to your failures holds you back from moving onto bigger and better things. If you let failure weigh you down, it surely will. And it will drown you. I would not be where I am today without learning this delicate art.

Final Note

Diamonds is my home. I’m so grateful for it. I am happy to report that not only am I am member of this fabulous organization, I am also the elected Treasurer for this upcoming school year. Also, that friend I was talking about, she is this year’s President and one of my best friends. So yeah, maybe those orientation advisors were on to something.

Much love,

Lovisa Kay

If you are interested in Texas Diamonds, check out our website: https://www.texasbaseballdiamonds.org/